Profiling
Understanding Human Behavior

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In my early years as an handwriting examiner/profiler, I found Handwriting Analysis based on American Trait Theory to be a very accurate diagnostic tool in profiling a personality in the complicated  task of answering the question "what is the best I can hope for, what is the worst I can expect," from the personality under controlled / uncontrolled circumstances. When I founded the Forensic Services Division of Chin, Wright and Branson, P.C. a forensic team working out of a Law Office in Boston with Ronald Rice and Vincent Scalice, that with the onset of the computer age and the internet, I would need more information to profile a personality without their handwriting. Simply put, people were not going to write as much.  I was very accurate in my assessment. Today everyone sends and receives messages by e-mail and text messages. Writing and snail mail is now a modality of the past.

I needed to be able to profile personalities without their handwriting. I was very fortunate to meet a psychiatrist, Dr. Ronal Rosso, during my years as the in house forensic expert at the Forensic Services Division. I was working with Dr. Rosso's wife, attorney Kim Vo who was one of the attorneys at Chin, Wright & Branson.  Attorney Vo and I were working  on a POW-MIA scam.  Dr. Rosso gave me a first copy of DSM-4, he said "Tony read this, it will help you to understand behavior patterns."  Dr. Rosso worked with me for years and was very generous with his time. He answered my never ending questions about behavior and what drives people to do what they do. I studied and researched everything and anything I could get my hands on regarding psychology and behavior patterns. I was very fortunate to work and study courses in other disciplines given by other highly qualified and internationally known forensic experts. I took classes and studied non stop to be able detect the red flags in the personality based on their behavior. Some dysfunctional behavior patterns are very overt and easy to detect. Many are very covert, insidious and slip by the trusting personality's conscious awareness.  I use the movie The Wizard of Oz,  when explaining these dysfunctional personalities. What a person projects and what they are may be two entirely different matters. My job is to educate you and make you aware of dysfunctional behavior patterns, so you will have the courage to walk behind the curtain and see this personality for who and what they truly are.  In criminal profiling the profilers have the "what, why, were, how and when." They attempt to determine the "who."  In threat assessment profiling we have the " what, why, were, how, who."  We attempt to prevent the "when," violence and emotional abuse will occur.

This link was not written to malign these personality types. It was written to give you behavior patterns that I have experienced, working and talking to their loved ones who do not or did not understand the change in their partners behavior. I have stated these personalities "were not born that way, they were made that way." The emotional, physical and sometimes sexual abuse they experienced in early childhood by their primary care givers set the template for their unstable behavior patterns in adulthood. These personalities were never given the love, caring and nurturing that is necessary for healthy development. These personalities can not give to you what they have never experienced themselves.  Can these personalities be helped, yes they can. There are many qualified medical health professionals that are specialized in this field that can and do help these very complex personality types lead a better and more emotionally stable life style.

I use the term dysfunctional personalities when referring to these insecure personality types. This link was not written to malign these personality types. It is their dysfunctional behavior patterns they use to dominate, manipulate, control you and to keep you emotionally off balance. 

There is no cookie cutter one size fits all template for personalities and their varied behavior patterns. Personalities are as diverse as the colors of a rainbow. The personality types I have listed in this link are only the tip of iceberg.

In 1952 when the first DSM -1 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) was launched by the medical community it was sixty pages long. Today DSM- 5 is close to one thousand pages long. 

Over the last twenty years I have worked with many people who are now or have been involved in relationships with emotional vampires. These personalities both male and female come from all walks of life and from every ethnic background. They are called by many different labels by the Medical Community and these labels are also used in popular culture. Dysfunctional personalities have behavior patterns consistent with the borderlines, narcissist, paranoid, and a psychopath and may have  co-morbid crossovers of other dysfunctions as well. Borderlines have narcissistic tendencies and are kissing cousins. Narcissists are not borderlines. Narcissists may have psychopathic tendencies but psychopaths are not narcissists.

A narcissist can act out in a psychopathic way as a last ditch effort to acquire narcissistic supply. Narcissists need positive attention narcissist supply to regulate their sense of low self worth but will when all else fails can and will act out in very dangerous, unstable behavior patterns to remain in the lime light. "You will all remember who I am" type of behavior. This is negative narcissistic supply but for the narcissist any attention is better than no attention at all.   

Simply put, a psychopath can live on an Island alone and survive. Being involved with a psychopath, it is not a question of are you going to get hurt, it is a question of when. A narcissist cannot survive on an Island alone. A narcissist needs outside sources other people to validate him/herself. Narcissists cannot validate themselves. Narcissists need narcissistic supply (NP) to survive day to day. Narcissists accomplish this by being a Cerebral (their intellect) or Somatic  (their body, looks and by sexual conquests). Narcissists have and need both primary and secondary sources of narcissist supply. As postulated by; Dr. Sam Vaknin. 

The American Psychiatric Association in their latest edition of DSM-5 has changed the label of the borderline to Emotional Deregulation Disorder (EDD) to add to the confusion. The name has changed but the behavior patterns remain the same. I use the terms borderline, narcissist, psychopath, etc. for this article because these are terms that most people have heard and understand.  

I will explain the different behavior patterns of these dysfunctional personalities (DP) as I call them. The medical professionals use the terms borderline (EDD), narcissist, histrionic and anti-social personality when explaining these personality types. I will explain my working experience with the borderline with narcissistic behavior patterns. This personality has a combination of both, the behavior patterns of a borderline and a narcissist called a co-morbid crossover. These behavior patterns can be expressed in both men and women.  I am not a medical professional. I am a profiler. I will explain the behavior patterns of these DP. I am explaining the behavior patterns that are "consistent with not diagnosed as." 

It is very important for those of you who are suffering the pain and anguish having been involved with one of these personalities or are currently involved in a relationship with one now. The problem is not you, I repeat, the problem is not you. The problem is them. In my estimation of all the different dysfunctional personalities types the psychopath is the most dangerous because of his/her complete lack of empathy for their victims. The borderline is a close second because of their inability to regulate their emotions when triggered, the narcissist comes in third. 

I will explain the moody emotional unstable (borderline) and narcissist personality type. These personalities are very complex. The reason being, they have behavior patterns of both a borderline and a narcissist with other dysfunctional behavior patterns combined in one personality profile.

In Criminal Profiling we have a M.O. (method of operation) and a Signature (a psychological need) the M.O. is what method the personality uses to commit his/her crime or with the dysfunctional personalities to get into your head and heart.
The M.O. will change and evolve over time.
The dysfunctional personality acts the same way, their M.O. how they act and treat you during the honeymoon phase can and will change and evolve over time. They may use love bombing, be very attentive, use seduction, come on as being very confident and in control of themselves in their personal and professional lives, they will idolize you making you think and feel that you have just found the man or woman of your dreams, they will try to disarm you with their tales woe, called the (covert type) how in all of their past relationships they were mistreated by their partner it's always someone else's fault. The covert type uses this tactic, this is always a red flag to me. When in a relationship with you. 

The more confident the personality becomes in their tactics, repetition breeds confidence and learning from past mistakes he/she evolves and becomes smarter and better at their craft. They need constant reassurance, they need to be the center of attention, they need to feel superior to you, he/she needs to be pacified when their insecurities are triggered real or imagined, they need their ego boosted. He/she may use different tactics to control and manipulate you. Tactics such as; gas lighting, being domineering, deception, trauma bonding, intermittent reinforcement, the silent treatment, distancing from you, using jealousy to trigger you, anger, violence, their M.O. and list of mind games is endless.

This is where their Signature comes to the forefront. 

The Signature is (a psychological need) their signature remains consistent. The Signature could be an emotional/physical/sexual need that will satisfy the personality while committing their act of violence, rape, murder, theft, or an attempt to undermine you, etc.

The dysfunctional personality acts the same way, their M.O. will change and evolve their Signature will remain consistent. 

Their Signature to me in these situations is massive insecurity. They need to feel better about themselves at your expense. The emotional high they get knowing they have fooled you yet again. To prove to themselves they are what they try to make themselves believe they are, superior beings. Can their Signature change, unlike the criminal type who's Signature never changes. Yes, with the insecure personality type their Signature can change with proper treatment and a willingness to change. Most are very therapy resistant. They do not want to admit they have insecurity issues, that they are flawed in the way they handle people in their personal and professional lives. To these personality types it is better you believe I am the Great OZ than you seeing me as the little man/woman behind the curtain. It is very important to remember "what a person projects and what the are in reality can be two entirely different matters. Always pay attention to the performance side of the personality how he/she acts, their performance side should remain consistent over extended periods of time. I do not pay attention to the communication side, unless I am analyzing a statement for content. People can and will say anything when they want you to believe something. There should always be consistency between their words and actions. Always pay very close attention to the leakage little slips between their words and actions. The very insecure personality type does a lot of talking and very little walking.
As I explain to my clients "they talk the talk but never walk the walk." 

Narcissist/Moody Emotionally Unstable, Fear Based, Insecure Personality Types
Behavior Patterns

Why are the behavior patterns of these personality types so difficult to understand when you are in a relationship with him/her?
When you have co-morbid crossovers with each of these two insecure personality types, each one reacts to their insecurities and abandonment fears in different ways. A combination of different behavior patterns combined in one personality. Narcissist and the moody emotionally unstable type (borderline) are kissing cousins but not the same. The emotionally unstable type (borderline) can have narcissistic tendencies but a narcissist is not a borderline. What is very important to understand is these personalities were not born this way, the were made this way by their early upbringing by primary care givers. The child may have been a spoiled type, entitled type or a deprived type where they were never given unconditional love. The love was only given when the child acted in accordance with the parents wants and wishes. The abuse in childhood could also be emotional, physical or the worst case scenario sexual abuse. These personality types were never given the love, nurturing and caring that a child needs growing up, they were treated more like objects. The main reason they have abandonment anxiety. Both the narcissist and the emotionally unstable have abandonment anxiety.  They will use different tactics to avoid these very strong emotions. 

Narcissist/Moody Emotionally Unstable Personality Type we have sub types I will explain the Narcissist first. 

The term narcissism comes from the Greek myth about Narcissus Greek:, Narkissos), a handsome Greek youth who, according to Ovid, rejected the desperate advances of the nymph Echo. This caused Narcissus to fall in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. Unable to consummate his love, Narcissus "lay gazing enraptured into the pool, hour after hour," and finally changed into a flower that bears his name.

In 1899, Paul Nacke was the first person to use the term "narcissism" in a study of sexual perversions. Otto Rank in 1911 published the first psychoanalytical paper specifically concerned with narcissism, linking it to vanity and self-admiration. Sigmund Freud published a paper on narcissism in 1914 called "On Narcissism: An Introduction".

Narcissist personalities can acquire their attention narcissist supply in one of two ways or a combination of both, as postulated by; Dr. Sam Vaknin. We have cerebral and somatic narcissists. One acquires the attention by intellectual means (cerebral) and the other by sexual conquests (somatic). The two types are not devoid of each other. There are times that a cerebral type can change into a somatic type during a major life crisis, then return back to the primary type. Same applies to the primary somatic type.  

The narcissist has both primary and secondary sources of narcissistic supply. The primary source is anyone who gives the narcissist attention. The secondary source is people who are meaningful to the narcissist and in constant contact with him/her, a loved one, family member, wife, best friend, etc. The secondary source is like an insurance policy to the narcissist. When primary sources are not available, the narcissist will rely on the secondary source to prop him/her back up. To remind the narcissist how great and wonderful they are. To get them back on their feet. The narcissist cannot validate themselves, they need you and any outside source to feel good about themselves. The narcissist need constant attention, admiration, they feel special and entitled. They are very jealous, envious, deceptive, arrogant and abusive when they are not getting their way. They are very insecure personalities and thin skinned. Their weapons of choice, gas lighting, projection, projective identification, and outright deception. Their number one fear is being exposed for the true insecure personalities they are. They are the Wizard in the movie The Wizard Of Oz what they project and what they are, are two entirely different matters. 

There are four types of Narcissists, Quiet/covert (introverted type) Classic Type, Malignant Type, and Communal Type which are your social media kings and queens. Postulated by: Dr. Ramani 

The Moody Emotionally Unstable (Borderline) Personality Type we have four sub types. 

The quiet, the petulant, the impulsive, and the self destructive behavior patterns. The emotionally unstable can exhibit some of all four of these behaviors but one behavior pattern will stand out more than the others. 

With these four different types the narcissist and the emotionally unstable their core issues are the same, they will express their behavior patterns slightly differently from each other. There is a marked difference between the behavior patterns of a quiet borderline type and an impulsive borderline type. Same applies to the narcissist, there is a marked difference in the behavior patterns of a quiet/covert type narcissist and a classic type narcissist. Both the narcissist and the emotionally unstable need attention, admiration or to be pacified and reassured. They just use different tactics in which to obtain it. There is no cookie cutter one size fits all template in their behavior patterns. This is the main reason these personality types are so complex and hard to understand. The best way to explain this is have you ever seen a new housing complex being built, the realtor is building eight houses, the cement foundations all look the same at the beginning but all eight houses are different in appearance than each other when they are finished. 

 Now I need to know the intensity (mental strength) of the personality. This is the most important trait in the profile. The intensity is the fuel that will drive their behavior patterns from mildly expressed to dangerously expressed. The more intense the personality is, the more volatile and explosive they will be. 

Both of the personality types have abandonment issues/ fears but handle those fears differently. The emotionally unstable type is like a burn victim that feels pain and emotion five times more intensely than the average person. This personality type goes through three phases called; seduction, love, hate phase. I have added a forth phase based on my experience working with them and their partners called the engulfment phase. Both the narcissist and the emotionally moody unstable type go through the seduction phase, both come on strong and quick called love bombing, early in your interaction with them. The sex and their emotions for you is intense and very seductive. They sweep you off your feet. 

The moody unstable type goes on to the love phase, the narcissist does not. This is where these two personality types part company in their behavior patterns. To the narcissist love and intimacy is a weakness. The narcissist believes "if I let you get close to me, you can hurt me." The narcissist will have sex with you, not make love to you. You are nothing more than a masturbation tool especially for the somatic type. 

The love phase is where things are going somewhat smoothly for the emotionally unstable type. This personality has found the love of their life, something they have never experienced before in their life. Something they have always wanted but never had. They are somewhat unsure and a little mistrusting of these intense emotions. Why? They have never experienced a true loving relationship starting with their parents, this is a new experience for them. 

I have added what I call the engulfment phase, based on my own working experience with them and their loved ones. This is the phase that you will see the emotional instability of these personalities. What has happened is they are now engulfed by their strong emotions "for you" this terrifies them, a light bulb goes off in their head "Oh my God what if I love him or her more than they love me, they will abandon me, I will be hurt, I will be devastated." This is where you see them test you, start fights, be angry. They test you by asking or wanting you to do everything under the sun. When you comply they are reassured for a short time, the reassurance does not last, they raise the bar again, you comply, they keep raising the bar until that first time you don't do what they want. That is all they are looking for, "ha! I knew it," this validates their insecurities. This is where you will see how they will "twist the facts to fit their emotions" with normal functional personalities "our emotions fit the facts." Their imagination becomes their reality. I knew I was right. Now they enter the hate phase.

The hate phase is where they split you called splitting going from loving you to death to hating you with that same intensity. Now you are dirt under their feet. These personality types are the type that emotionally "cuts off their finger to save their arm" when all they had was a small scratch. They will abandon you before you abandon them, they will leave you before you leave them, they will cheat on you before you cheat on them. In an instant they are gone and you are dropped on your head. Not long after they have left you they now have triggered their own abandonment fears and they start what I have termed hovering in attempt to get back in your head. This tactic is used hoping you will engage them again, they want you to do all the dirty work. When that doesn't work then they will use the hoover tactic trying to suck you back in again. They will tell you how sorry he/she is, they can't live without you, the list is endless. You go back and the process starts all over again. Most will exhibit this behavior pattern some will not. Not all moody emotionally unstable personality types act alike. Some will leave you and never return. The bed never gets cold with these personalities, they already have someone else in the background before they leave you.  

When you have a moody emotionally unstable (borderline) a narcissist or a combination of both types called a narcissist/borderline type you can understand why these personality types are so difficult to profile, understand, live with and why they can be so hazardous to your emotional, mental and in the worst case scenarios your physical health.